Transcript of #15

Abnormally Funny People Show 15

Presented by Simon Minty and Steve Best

intro

Welcome to the Abnormally Funny People Show with your hosts Simon Minty and Steve Best. This podcast is sponsored by Barclays. For more information please see our website abnormallyfunnypeople.com. We hope you enjoy the show.

[playing music]

simon

Hello and welcome to the Abnormally Funny People show number 15. I’m Simon Minty.

steve

Hello, I’m Steve Best.

simon

This could be the penultimate show.

steve

We’re stopping are we?

simon

Well not necessarily, we’re actually coming to the end of our original sponsorship by the lovely people at Barclays Bank.

steve

Ah which means we’re looking for new sponsorship folks.

simon

Indeed we are. If you are someone or you work somewhere which might want to sponsor us and let us carry on, do let us know.

steve

That would be most marvellous. Or we could try that crowd funding or something. What’s is called? Cloud funding? Is it crowd funding?

simon

Yeah it’s hilarious that crowd funding thing. I think that’s a very good idea.

steve

What’s the other one it’s crowd funding or?

shannon

Kickstarter.

steve

Kickstarter.

simon

Oh welcome, Shannon.

steve

There’s a voice coming in now.

simon

We could do that. That’s a bit scary though because if they don’t fund us it looks a bit bleak.

liz

It’s like begging. It’s begging.

steve

Is it.

simon

Oh hello Liz Carr. I couldn’t stop. To be honest now you’ve started the conversation.

steve

Let’s introduce the guests in a minute shall we?

shannon

But disabled people get accused of begging enough as it is so maybe don’t do crowd funding or Kickstarter. It’s a little bit embarrassing isn’t it?

liz

Also there’s a lot of pressure on us because I feel that you’ve set us up because you’ve gone basically give us some money. So really now the show has to be really quite good. Because otherwise if it’s a shit show…

shannon

That’s a lot of pressure on us now.

liz

Yes, so thanks.

shannon

Cheers love.

steve

This show or just generally?

liz

Well this one.

simon

So to confirm: this will be the last show of Abnormally Funny… Although you can stop that. Do drop us a line via Twitter, Facebook or our email info@abnormallyfunnypeople.com.

steve

This is the time now where we introduce the guests but we’ve more or less introduced them.

simon

They introduced themselves.

steve

Yes what can be said about our first guest which has not been said before, usually by us actually because you’ve been on a few times; actor, a comedian, a writer, disability rights campaigner – welcome back Liz Carr.

liz

Welcome back to me. Thank you for having me.

simon

And for a lovely change our LA based reporter, Shannon Murray, is actually here in person in the studio. So when not speaking with us Shannon is an actor, model, blogger and I keep wanting to say you’re a lawyer too.

shannon

Yeah I haven’t practised for about eight months but yeah.

simon

Officially?

shannon

Officially yeah I’m a qualified lawyer.

simon

It’s lovely to have you back.

shannon

Thank you very much, it’s lovely to be here in the studio and not like down a little phone.

liz

Are you in a little booth?

shannon

Yeah I’m in a very, very little booth.

steve

And later on we’ll be hearing from Robin Christopherson from AbilityNet letting us know what is new with technology.

[Jingle: You can contact us by email podcast@abnormallyfunnypeople.com.]

simon

So let’s kick off with our moment of the month and Liz your moment of the month?

liz

Oh me!

simon

Yes so this is something disability related that happened and when I looked at you that was the clue. Did we tell you this?

liz

Yeah no.

steve

Liz knows she’s been on three, four like seven times, every month. ((overlapping voices - 0:03:15.0?)).

liz

I’ve been on ten times. No I haven’t.

shannon

She’s just really excited to be here.

liz

Yeah. No I am. I am.

simon

Go Liz.

liz

The thing is I’ve got a number, that’s the thing. It’s not that I didn’t have one I’ve like got lots.

simon

Okay.

liz

So that’s sort of it really I think. Moment of the month all come under one category. Moments of the month are all about protest.

steve

Of course I thought this was going to happen.

liz

Did you think they might be?

simon

I did and I’m excited about one of them.

liz

Did you have an inkling?

simon

Yeah I did.

steve

Simon had a little bit later to talk to Liz, maybe just interview and it was kind of about protest and suddenly he thought actually that would be your moment of the month.

liz

Yeah.

steve

There we go, we can talk about it.

liz

Well there’s been lots. This is about disability protests because earlier, well last month in September there was the Assisted Dying Bill was going through the House of Commons. And so there were protests. And I’m somebody that’s opposed to it and so we were outside the House of Commons protesting against it. But just the numbers of people and that feeling of being on a protest and actually being part of something where you win for a change.

steve

Amazing.

liz

So there were many disabled people outside and we were asking for the law not to be passed. And that was the vote that came.

steve

Was there a lot of able-bodied people as well?

liz

It was probably half/half. But to get any number of disabled, you know, to get two disabled guests on this show is a bit of a miracle, so just to get any number of disabled people together I always think is incredible. I mean we had, there was probably like I don’t know 40 or 50 disabled people I would say, which I think is quite something.

steve

It is substantive.

liz

And it was just we didn’t expect… The thing is also really we didn’t expect that we would win. And it’s not really a win because it’s kind of like, “Yay, yah we’ve done that” because it’s a difficult subject, it’s very emotive and very emotional and so there aren’t really any winners other than just kind of making sure we didn’t want the law to be passed because we’re still not sure that we’re ready for a law like that I guess.

simon

So to contextualise it in a sense of whenever they do the surveys in the UK 80% of the population are pro…

liz

82 Simon.

simon

I’m sorry I forgot that 2%. So you are going against prevailing sort of public sentiment. But it wasn’t like a narrow win, it was an overwhelming vote.

liz

Yeah it was like I think 400 odd MPs turned up which is quite unheard of on a Friday because they all go home on a Friday. 

simon

And a free vote.

liz

It’s a free vote, they didn’t have to vote there was no party line on it. And so no-one expected this, but over 400 MPs turned up and 330 voted against the bill. And so this bill would have made it legal at this point for people who are terminally ill to have a doctor assist them to end their life. And I guess those of us who are opposed feel that there are not enough safeguards, feel that enough is not being done in terms of healthcare and social care to support people. We need to do a lot more before we must allow that. And it changes we believe, you know I believe it changes your relationship with your doctor. And I actually think for me being disabled affects my involvement in this campaign because I think I don’t know, I don’t know about you, but doctors have made lots of mistakes in my life. They’ve saved my life but they’ve also made a lot of mistakes. And I think I could easily see that if my support and if I wasn’t who I was and my life was taken away in bits and I wasn’t given the things that I need, I can imagine how easy it would be to feel suicidal and be ill or disabled in that position. And I also think that people would kind of go, “Oh of course I can understand that being you, being as you are” meaning being a disabled person that they’re more likely to go, “Of course your life must be intolerable.”

shannon

And I think that’s a big mistake that’s frequently made. And also that people don’t realise if you are disabled or you have a long term chronic condition, and you are admitted to hospital you have to be the expert in your condition and you have to fight to get your point across that you know the needs of your care better than they do. Because they’ll bustle in in a general hospital without the specialism of whatever your condition is.

steve

Because they’ll think you’re undermining their expertise.

shannon

Exactly and you’re not you’re trying to help get the best treatment for yourself. And I’ve been party to this myself quite often, and it is only by putting your point across confidently, intellectually – I mean if you’re in any way intellectually challenged you’re going to come up against a bridge where nobody is taking your word for it. And by being like Liz intelligent, articulate and fighting to get your point across they will ultimately listen to you. But if you are not confident enough to do that or you don’t have the capability to do that you are going to get bulldozed by doctors and nurses...

steve

Simon, you’re going to have a few problems.

shannon

…who don’t understand.

steve

I’m lining out there, sorry.

simon

Get to the ((0:08:11.7?)) bit both Liz and Shannon, wheelchair users just in cast people didn’t know.

liz

But I was also going to say, sorry Steve, but when you said that about being articulate and knowing your rights kind of thing, but I still find, like I have a little plastic, of course it’s laminated because I love stationery, in my purse I have a card with all the things that I’m on and things that I want to happen, including how to take my blood pressure because it’s quite difficult to take my blood pressure. But everyone wants to try it and I tell them that won’t work. It doesn’t matter, they don’t…doctors, nurses, medical people really struggle to listen to you.

shannon

Very much.

liz

And so even if that’s happened to people like us it’s like my goodness what chance have other people got?

shannon

Exactly. Because I’ve had things recently going in for surgery and needing pain relief because I wasn’t in pain they weren’t giving me the pain relief. But I needed the pain relief in order for all the other symptoms of a broken leg to subside which were causing my normally very low blood pressure to skyrocket. But they were panicking about how low it was without appreciating that paraplegics always have low blood pressure.

steve

We should put that into context as well because, Shannon, you broke your leg a couple of months ago was it?

shannon

Exactly. And for two days I had to fight with medical staff about what needed to happen before they could bring me in for surgery. But it was like hitting a brick wall every time; they just weren’t listening to me. And ultimately I did have to explode in order for them to call down the right medical team who were able to understand what was going on. But it shouldn’t have to be like that. And that’s what’s worrying.

simon

Jumping back a little bit I was obviously following the… Liz is being very understated, Liz was an absolute tower, sort of figurehead, absolutely pushing this through, I mean you see what you were doing online and social media and in the press media, it was just… Yes I couldn’t imagine how exhausting that would be. And that’s the bit I really admire because when you know there’s this weight of feeling against you. Well there’s one bit which I love now when you protest everyone wears t-shirts that will have the same logos on. It sounds a bit pants but you know what – it makes such a difference. So it looks co-ordinated, organised, it has an impact, it’s visually really strong, the photos suddenly come alive. And there was a bit that, and I’m a bit on the fence here, I can see the other argument which is great that we’re still friends. But I read an article and it was in The Guardian about a week before the vote, and there was a line that made me leap out and made me swing completely to your point which was and it said, ‘by now we all know that if you see someone with locked-in syndrome, we all look and say, “That’s someone who needs assisted suicide”.’ And it was this judgement. So we can all look at you and if you’ve got that condition impairment whatever we all think you should die. And I mean it might not be phrased like that but even The Guardian who’s normally the other side I was just… And I remember sending it to you…

liz

I was going to say you sent it ((0:11:05.7?))

steve

But isn’t that just a journalist’s point of view saying that. It’s not as though…

simon

It was a sort of ((0:11:10.4?)) it was a kind of this is where we’re at at The Guardian, but you’re right. But it’s also that clumsy line and it’s also a more general one – does that mean people will look at us and go I don’t want a life like that?

shannon

I’ve had that said to me numerous times when people have said, you know, “Oh what happened?” And you say, “I broke my neck” “God if I was you I don’t think I’d cope, I think I’d just kill myself.”

simon

And we’re not even terminally ill.

shannon

((0:11:29.4?)) Don’t know me.

simon

That’s bit bit.

liz

I was going to say…

simon

That example.

liz

…just for factual accuracy it was the Observer.

simon

Of course it was.

liz

This piece.

simon

Yes the Sunday version.

liz

And so it was, it was their sort of their position statement on this.

steve

Right.

liz

And I remember… Because even as I’m telling I’m thinking, you know, I can hear people through the airwaves or even in this room going, “Yeah but isn’t it only for terminally ill people?”

shannon

No it will get abused.

liz

And I think the problem is that that line isn’t very clear because somebody with locked-in syndrome, for example, who can’t communicate in a traditional way…

steve

They’re not terminally ill are they?

liz

They’re not terminally ill. And most of the people that we’ve ever seen campaigning or fronting the campaigns have only been disabled they haven’t been terminally ill. So I think that’s the problem is that that sense of who it’s about and who it’s for that the people, you know, your general people in the public are kind of like of course if that was me, if I was like Shannon, if I was like Liz, if I was like, you know, whoever…

simon

The bit you’ve said and we know is we will all know people who have been gravely ill and probably close to death and the medical system keeps them alive and you question that. And in my head I can see there could be an argument there. But then there’s that flip side of what comes with it and the fact that the people who wanted this to change, or their examples, were people who were not actually going to be covered by the change of legislation. Already that says to me it’s going to slip, it’s going to have to move because the examples we’re trying to prove their point were not valid with what the law would be changing to.

steve

But generally people who are terminally ill are helped, they’re not helped to die, but they’re helped with their pain relief and everything else and it’s…

simon

You can withdraw care.

liz

I think what this week I mean it came out that and the scale of 80 countries England has the best end of life care…

steve

Yes I read that.

shannon

Which is quite worrying because it’s not that great.

liz

And I think the idea is that when it all works and it all comes together it works, but so few people have access to that. So that’s one of the things that, you know, I believe is I want… Because, Simon, I think when you began this you were like my goodness you’ve got 82% against you, and particularly because I’m very public about my opposition, not many people are very public about it even if they agree, it’s really hard because you’re seen as uncaring and not compassionate and all of that. And actually I kind of think the opposite. Because in a way I want everyone to have a good end of life.

simon

I would add…

shannon

Because your argument… Sorry. Your argument changed my mind because I was kind of on the fence but I was doing that thing which I think the majority of the public are doing and you’re just thinking of it in illnesses that people have had, you know, contact with a relative who’s had a painful death whether it’s cancer or it’s motor neurone disease or whatever it is but it’s quite limited, they’re not thinking about chronic illnesses that aren’t terminal or disabilities that aren’t terminal. And I think that’s a massive oversight by people who are, you know, saying their opinion is pro people having the right to die without actually considering all the facts. And it was only I think something that you’d written a while ago that made me think of it differently and that actually there needs to be better end of life care, and then people won’t be scared of dying. It’s a lot of fear.

simon

Yes I totally agree. The bit I was going to add it’s not only the perception of you, Liz, are you, you know, cold and uncaring or da da da, it’s another bit, it’s a personal bit; the idea to be so public with that prevailing disagreement, to have the resolution, the self-belief, that kind of rock hardness and obviously you do because you believe it, that’s the point. So it’s great. And if you do you can stick to it. But I just think that takes some…

shannon

She’s got balls of steel.

simon

That’s it.

liz

Or flaps of steel as ((0:15:12.5?))

simon

That will be ((0:15:13.9?))

liz

Will that be edited?

simon

Yeah.

steve

No. no.

shannon

You’ve got to keep flaps of steel.

simon

Any other funny stories?

steve

No hang on, very quickly on that one. So the bill got opposed and passed so no is there a time when it goes back to it, is there a four year…

simon

Couple of weeks.

liz

So this is the first time. So there’s been different bills they tried to bring it in the House of Lords last year and that ran out because of the election because they ended the government and obviously started again. So it ran out of time in the House of Lords. This time in a really short space of time they brought it out in the Commons, in the House of Commons and it was the first time in 18 years that MPs had ever been able to vote. And those who were very supportive of the bill passing in assisted suicide they said, you know, this is a parliamentary issue our government needs to make a decision on this, we want parliament to do. And of course parliament did and they said, you know, over half of all MPs yes because I think there’s 650 MPs, so 330 have said no to this, have said no we don’t want this law at this time. So it’s a resounding no it’s not just a kind of a…

steve

But how long before it can come back into…?

liz

Really it’s very unlikely in this government because government don’t support it, it’s not a policy line, Cameron doesn’t support it and it was a Private Member’s Bill, I know I don’t know all of this stuff only because of this issue I’m a bit nerdy about it now.

steve

So the next government that comes in whatever happens it could be…

liz

Absolutely. And people can still try they might try and bring it in in the Lords but in a way if they try and bring it in in the Lords then they’ll go well it failed in the Commons so it’s unlike… So I think there will be lots more cases of what’s going to happen in the next… It will never go away, you know, we’ve just bought ourselves a little bit of breathing space if anything. Do you know what, for me, it’s not about everybody being onside and agreeing with me, I think we’re quite misinformed about what this means. I think it’s too simplistic how it’s sold that it’s all about choice and it’s all about rights. And I think it’s quite complicated. So, you know, if you disagree with me then that’s fine but just because be educated around it and have a think about it because I just think it’s complicated.

steve

Rather than people come up with a gut instinct or gut…

liz

Absolutely.

simon

Exactly.

liz

And of course nobody wants to die in pain, nobody wants their loved ones, I don’t want that I don’t want that for other people.

simon

Is there a little pat on the back for members of parliament and our government in the sense of… Because as I understood it there was a lot of people walked into the chamber for the debate who were undecided. And then a lot of people spoke and they obviously were eloquent and made strong arguments and from listening to all of that then the sway it came down on the side that you wanted. And I like it - it’s not often we say this – when MPs go against public opinion. They have to make a greater good or a sounder judgement rather than just going through the sort of the mob of everyone saying, “We must have this” and I kind of think it is a bit of a pat on the back for them to go against that.

liz

I think that’s it, it surprised us but it was like yay. But of course now those that want the bill are saying MPs are out of touch and the democratic process has failed us. And of course, you know, the democratic process fails if it doesn’t agree with you, that’s the point it always does.

simon

Just to clarify there was a level of celebration was there?

liz

Yay.

simon

Is that what you all did?

liz

Yeah because some people were on ventilators obviously so it’s…

shannon

And knackered from all that travelling.

simon

You said it was all one big thing is there any other hilarious stories that you’ve brought to us?

liz

No. A moment of that day…

steve

We might edit that down just to the flaps of steel.

liz

…is that, so you said about the t-shirts right so it was kind of two camps so if you’re pro assisted suicide then you wear pink, a pint t-shirt with slogans saying 82% people want this. On the other side not dead yet who were those who were opposed have a white t-shirt right. So it’s the pinks against the white shirts – it’s kind of like the jets and the sharks. That’s what it’s like, it’s like West Side Story. And so there’s this woman who came up and talked to Jo, my partner.

steve

What was she wearing?

liz

She was a pink shirt…

steve

Okay.

liz

…coming up to a white shirt.

shannon

If you were undecided could you wear two or half of one and half of the other?

simon

What happens if you did a bad wash and the white one became a bit pink?

steve

That’s why it should be red and white then you have the pink t-shirts ((0:19:36.2?))

liz

The in-betweens really. And she had recognised me from – I don’t know if you know but I’m on BBC ‘Silent Witness.’

steve

No way!

simon

Is it the John Bishop Show?

liz

That’s right. Embarrassing Bodies that’s me. So she was like doing that coming up “Oh I recognise you” but not speaking to me she talked to…

shannon

Obviously.

liz

…she talked to my partner, she talked to who I was with, my carer. So she started talking to Jo and Jo started to talk about, you know, the issues and all of that, as you do.

steve

What t-shirt was Jo wearing though?

liz

Can you imagine? And the woman was like, “You know what I’ve never really thought about it like that” and Jo said to me she said, “Do you know what, maybe you’re wearing the wrong coloured t-shirt.” Anyway so that’s one. And then later on about an hour later the woman… She’d just got her normal t-shirt on.

steve

Wow!

liz

She’s taken it off, she took it off. I think she took it off with Jo actually. Not in that way.

steve

I was going to say.

liz

Oh my God now it’s getting weird I’d better talk to her. And she came up and she did want to talk to me so we had a chat. And then Jo saw her a bit later and Jo said, “So how’s it going? I see you’ve taken the shirt off?” She said, “would you like a white one?”

simon

That’s brilliant.

liz

She put a white one on.

shannon

That’s amazing.

simon

So in government terms she crossed the floor.

liz

She crossed the floor.

simon

That’s amazing.

liz

I’m not actually sure what Jo did to her to make her do it because now I think about it all sounds a bit sordid but I think it was just conversation.

steve

They’re going to Paris next weekend.

liz

Going to Paris. I don’t think flaps of steel were involved.

simon

It was a winning argument that she’s developed with you and her persuasive skills.

liz

Maybe, maybe. I think absolutely yeah.

shannon

You see that would make a good Observer piece instead of, you know, here’s our point of view.

simon

That’s a very good point.

shannon

Here’s a twist on it.

simon

Thank you, Liz.

liz

Thank you for letting me talk so seriously, I thought it all had to be hilarity.

steve

Well it’s not going to be on the show.

liz

Not it’ll be edited. Oh thanks.

steve

We come to Shannon. Shannon LA based Shannon. So your moment of the month, is it a moment of the month in England or UK or in …

shannon

LA.

steve

LA, okay. Because you haven’t been here for that many days have you?

shannon

Well I’ve been back two weeks but one week was in Dublin.

steve

So it’s moment of the month so it could be anywhere.

shannon

Yeah it could have been England, Ireland or LA.

steve

Okay. Go for it.

shannon

But I’m going with LA.

steve

Okay.

shannon

My moment of the month is it’s a little bit show busy. It’s Peter Dinklage winning another Emmy for outstanding supporting actor in a drama series for his part in Game of Thrones. And the reason I’m bringing it up is because I’d noticed a few pieces in the media recently about – I can’t remember who it was, I should have done more research – somebody was talking about disabled roles and that people weren’t interested in disability in storylines. And my recollection of previous Oscar winners whether it’s for best film or best director or best actor is quite a lot of them go to films where disability is central to the storyline and there seems to be a lot of money made out of disability at the movies but still no disabled actors in the roles, in the movies or on TV. So I just thought, you know, with Peter Dinklage doing this and the fact that his role, yes it refers to his disability, but he’s still this amazing character that is probably the best character in the series, he’s funny, he’s sexy, he’s dark – he’s everything you want from like, you know, a great character in that kind of cartoon-esq JR Ewing type thing. But still…

steve

You’re showing your age there.

shannon

I’m not. I was really young when JR Ewing was on.

liz

It’s repeated.

simon

((0:23:25.3?))

shannon

Cheers, Steve, thanks for that. And also there was the actress who is in American Horror Story was up for an award as well, and she has Down’s syndrome and I was just hoping that maybe that, you know, there’s a slight turning.

steve

We’ve got Liz Carr of Silent Whiskers…

shannon

Liz Carr, in case you didn’t know, is on ‘Silent Witness.’

liz

Silent Whiskers. Who’s been talking about my facial hair? Thank you for that.

steve

((0:23:51.0?)) you can’t see them.

shannon

Lisa Hammond in Eastenders, Cherylee who’s Coronation Street you know there’s…

simon

Do you think there’s too many, are you saying there’s too many?

shannon

No.

steve

They should all be in just one show together.

shannon

No I don’t have a recurring role yet so there can’t be too many until I’ve found something...

simon

Good point.

shannon

…that pays the bills do you know what I mean?

liz

Don’t assume that it pays the bills.

shannon

No obviously. Discounted disabled rate.

liz

Yeah. £2.25 an hour or something.

shannon

Exactly.

simon

You know I thought about talking about Peter Dinklage because I read it. And you know the bit that – am I being complacent already – I kind of looked and saw he won the Emmy and I went, “Yeah of course.” It was almost like…

shannon

But that’s good.

simon

…why wouldn’t he, there was no… And then he won it two/three years ago?

shannon

He won it in 2011 but he’s been nominated every single year. He won it this year and he won it in 2011. ((whispers)) I did some research.

simon

And I agree all your little bits there’s this sort of the numbers are growing.

shannon

Yeah but I just think, for me, it’s kind of looking back at all these films that, you know, you’re guaranteed an Oscar if you put a little of disability in there. Which, you know, living as a disabled person, you know, let’s be honest it comes with quite a lot of highs and lows, quite a lot of drama but all these stories focus on the tragedy. It’s like why can’t we focus on the fun stuff?

simon

They like the triumph after the tragedy don’t forget. There’s a bit ((0:25:07.2?))

shannon

I’m still trying to triumph after the tragedy, you’ll know when it does.

simon

We have talked about this and we always talk about the cinema isolation and the book which says Hollywood would not exist without disability which I think is a cracking line. But ‘Theory of Everything’ ‘Still Alice’ two Oscar winners it’s still going on.

shannon

Yeah totally, every year.

simon

And I’ve always said this about short people, I know there’s going to be the silly stuff, if there’s a balance of good stuff as well then maybe that’s what Peter Dinklage and Liz and some of these other people you said that’s…

shannon

But also TV is having a massive resurgence, well not just TV but, you know, online – Netflix, Hulu, Amazon and they’re financing a lot of TV series that wouldn’t actually normally get made on television, so there is a lot more work out there. But again it’s still like where are the good juicy disabled parts, they’re still not there. But Peter Dinklage has proved that you can have a really brilliant disabled character.

liz

I liked, you know, so in the last episodes of Dr. Who there’s been Sophie Stone who’s a deaf actor/actress. But what I love about that and she doesn’t speak she signs totally. So if you see her perform she does speak but she’s also fluent BSL, British Sign Language user. So the way that they’ve done it is that a member of the crew as in the crew on this spaceship that she’s in or whatever.

simon

The Tardis?

liz

No.

simon

Oh she’s got her own.

liz

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She’s like the commander of a space thing. You see I don’t watch it, I only watch it because she’s in it, this particular episode. So that’s why I’m going it’s a space thing. But they’re not in the Tardis I’m aware of that, I remember it from my childhood and Tom Baker.

simon

Bit defensive there.

liz

And that’s showing my age now.

simon

John Pertwee that was before our time.

steve

Was it?

shannon

Don’t look at me, you looked at me. That was well before my time.

simon

Worzel Gummidge.

steve

Yeah, yeah I remember Worzel Gummidge.

liz

Peter Davidson came after…

steve

Yeah. Okay.

simon

Sci-fi fans are going love what’s happening.

steve

So the way they respond to her you get the…

liz

Yeah so there’s a guy, you know another space cadet, but she’s the commander of this space craft thing and another member of the crew – I know I love it – another member of the crew is like her interpreter. But because it’s just done that way it’s just how it is, and so it’s fab. But the writer says that basically to have the…this particular episode has ghosts in it and the ghosts are silent but they’re speaking but you can’t hear it, so he knew he needed someone in the story that lip read.

shannon

That’s amazing.

liz

And that’s how it began. So having a disabled person in it came from the story not just, “Let’s put someone disabled in it.” It was actually that…

shannon

Is that a disabled voice?

liz

Let’s do the disabled voice. I’ve never actually met anyone in TV that speaks like that, but that’s how they talk.

simon

Ghosts speak like that you can hear them ((0:27:53.7?))

steve

It’s like northern.

simon

A haunted spaceship craft thing as you call it.

steve

From The Wirral.

shannon

Not the Tardis.

liz

Not the… I know what that is. Yeah but that was his reasoning, it wasn’t again doing the right thing or doing the PC thing. But he said he realised, “Oh actually somebody’s deaf…

steve

It’s essential. Moment of the month right it’s party political as well a little bit because there’s been the…

simon

This is going to be the funniest show.

liz

I didn’t expect that from you.

steve

No didn’t you? You expected handkerchiefs out my bum things like that.

shannon

You’ve put on your glasses to go really serious.

steve

I have but I can’t read.

shannon

Okay. I thought it was a serious moment.

steve

No it’s not really a serious moment I just… Because there’s been the party political conferences party things everywhere and Corbyn I noticed he…

simon

Who is Jeremy Corbyn for someone who doesn’t know?

steve

He’s the head of the Tory party.

simon

Who is Jeremy Corbyn?

steve

Labour, Labour leader, the new one.

simon

And if you’re an American and you’ve never heard of him.

steve

Yeah.

simon

What does that mean, what’s different?

liz

You should read more papers.

shannon

Gosh honestly.

steve

((0:28:53.6?)) it’s a very, very socialist…

shannon

You can’t escape Donald Trump at the moment.

steve

Donald Trump is just amazing isn’t he?

shannon

It’s just endless. You try and find another news story and you can't all you just see is Donald Trump.

liz

So Corbyn is the absolute opposite…

steve

Of Donald Trump. Exactly.

simon

And this is a major shift for the party.

shannon

It’s Bernie Sanders.

steve

Yes he is.

liz

Not Colonel Sanders.

simon

Now Australia, what about Australian?

steve

((0:29:16.6?))

simon

Keep this in.

steve

But Frankie Boyle did a lovely bit in The Guardian about the fact that Jeremy Corbyn there was a speaker on and she was talking.

shannon

She got stuck in a wheelchair.

steve

She got stuck in a wheelchair and Corbyn came straight on and helped out. And I just imagine Cameron not…

simon

That’s socialism.

steve

It is socialism.

shannon

Didn’t he say Ian Duncan-Smith would have kicked her into the orchestra pit?

steve

That was my moment of the month and Shannon’s taken it.

shannon

Sorry. Oh I’m sorry.

steve

No that was good. You read it as well. It made me really laugh.

simon

I’m signing Shannon up, she’s talented.

steve

Ian Duncan-Smith yeah just kick her in the orchestra pit.

liz

And in a wheelchair.

shannon

Woo!

steve

There we go thanks very much. And Simon. No there was another one I had, oh you want to talk about it, yeah.

shannon

Can I?

simon

Of course you can.

steve

You can ((0:30:02.9?))

shannon

No but David Cameron right, so he did this talk yesterday about equality, like great one, Dave, that’s really funny. Did anybody see him wipe away a tear at the end?

steve

No.

simon

Hold up was a tear?

shannon

No it was a crocodile tear or like a fly in his eye or something maybe an eyelash but he did do that. That doesn’t work for radio podcast things.

steve

No we can imagine it.

simon

He stooped his head and just wiped the corner. I saw it on TV and I thought that’s an ((0:30:25.0?)) was that a fake tear or was that you’ve got something in your eye. It did look clumsy and weird didn’t it? Do you think it was planned?

steve

Was it equality in all sorts equality generally?

shannon

Yeah about disabled people who couldn’t do the things they were good at.

simon

Did he say that?

shannon

It was along those lines.

simon

Okay.

shannon

It was pretty much that. And about a black girl who had to change her name to Elizabeth on her CV before she could get an interview.

simon

I read reports in the BBC and they just talked about gay people and ethnic minorities, they didn’t mention what you had mentioned.

shannon

No I was waiting for him and he did drop in with disability.

liz

We got a line.

shannon

Yeah we got a line.

steve

And a tear in as well.

shannon

And maybe a tear.

simon

Going back…

steve

He spat on the floor.

shannon

I don’t believe him.

simon

I smiled when you told me that was what you were planning as your story and I only smile because that happens with me when I do have my scooter and you don’t realise so you’re at table and you come a bit close and then you start chatting away and then as you try to back out your handlebars have got caught underneath and you’re sort of struggling to pull away.

steve

I couldn’t work out what he did actually to free the… Because he kind of bent down like right below the poll pit, poll pit?

shannon

Well that’s like Police Academy when they…

steve

That’s what I was thinking.

shannon

The prostitute was in the lectern.  

steve

Yes I was thinking that as well. Good one. And then she moved off.

simon

Mr Corbyn’s going to be great at sort of freeing political prisoners, this is just the start for me.

liz

I was thinking more that if he doesn’t get into power if he wants more power then he can be a wheelchair repair man or something like that.

shannon

That would be a good line of work.

steve

It took him seconds. He did it very well, very quick.

liz

Excellent you see.

shannon

Because that shows he’s natural and au fait with disabled people rather than stuttering and stammering around.

simon

He was on next and he wanted to get in I think he was I’m not having her hanging around I’m up next.

liz

Did he wipe a tear as he did it?

simon

Yeah he did.

steve

No he spat on the floor, puh like that.

simon

Where did that come from?

steve

I don’t know. I don’t know.

shannon

I wonder if there was a pig’s head behind Dave’s lectern and maybe he was just getting emotional about that. You never know.

steve

That could happen.

simon

That’s a good story. I saw that. It made me smile. They all laughed on stage didn’t they, it was hilarity, better than this.

steve

Well one of them shouted out, “He’s a hands-on leader!” Hands-on like hands-on leader.

shannon

What like healing hands?

steve

Well it could have been yeah.

liz

JC – there you go, that’s his initials.

steve

I do like ((0:32:37.2?)) I’m a fan. We shouldn’t go into politics here.

simon

He’s got a beard as well hasn’t he, he’s got a beard.

shannon

We’re venturing into religion now.

steve

But actually the article Frankie Boyle was very funny…

shannon

It is a good…

steve

…and all the other bits as well. It’s worth reading that.

liz

It was funny in the ((0:32:47.1?))

steve

We’ll put a link on maybe.

simon

Shannon had got it before he’d even got there.

steve

Well she’d read it.

shannon

Sorry I didn’t…

steve

We’re on the same wavelength.

shannon

I read the article it’s good.

steve

But he’s not going to come out with the exact words.

simon

I thought he had. No, no that’s why I was signing Shannon oh this is…

steve

She’s not that good. You are.

shannon

No I did I quoted him pretty accurately.

steve

No, no he thought.

liz

Do it with Simon’s voice.

steve

Simon thought you’d made it up.

shannon

No I’d read the article.

steve

It’s exactly the same words as Frank…

simon

Got it now, got it.

steve

Simon!

shannon

I thought I was getting bonus points for being a Guardian reader or something.

simon

Hm.

steve

And what about you, Simon? There was another one.

simon

Go on Steve, we’ve got plenty of time.

steve

It was Facebook, I do trawl and I get told off for doing it because it is a waste of time isn’t it? But then…

simon

I think you’re speaking to the wrong people here.

steve

You love it don’t you, Liz, yeah. I don’t know about Shannon, I’m not sure.

shannon

No. I use it more now that I live away because someone’s got to stay in touch.

steve

But there was the typical X-Factor stuff that had come on for three minutes and it was really strange because there was one with…I think it was from Poland or Russia, I’m not too sure, and the guy with one leg who did some dancing with a partner. And the thing is you know they’re kind of inspiration you think and then you see the judges go like that, they’re kind of looking in amazement. And they did this dance and the judges before they finished everybody was up on their feet giving this standing ovation. I was watching and thought actually the dance isn’t that good, it’s not actually that good. That was real kind of, it felt really patronising.

simon

You call it happy-clappy club.

steve

Well kind of in a way. He was good but not this kind of really adversity, amazing.

shannon

That’s that thing though if you’re disabled you don’t have to be better than anybody else just be a little bit good and you’re inspirational.

steve

I don’t know I think…

shannon

That’s so patronising.

steve

…I thought that we’d got over that and I thought it wasn’t quite like that anymore but it did…

liz

Do you know what I thought you were going to say there?

steve

Go on.

liz

I thought you were going to say he got to the end, so you played all that and they were all up and it was all emotional and then he dropped down his leg. Like it was tied up behind him. I really wanted that to be the case. I wanted it.

steve

But then I refreshed Facebook, the page, and the person that came into my timeline was another X-Factor thing with another person who was disabled doing the singing. He was singing.

liz

Were they average as well?

steve

And again people got up and he wasn’t that brilliant.

shannon

It’s just inspiration porn.

steve

But yeah.

simon

It also shows how good Facebook’s algorithms are though the fact that they think you like…

shannon

Yeah they know how much you like…

simon

…talent contests with disabled people now so you’re going to get loads in your timeline.

shannon

That’s going to be your feed permanently now.

steve

Nice. I’m looking forward to that.

liz

Want your leg removed?

steve

((0:35:10.5?))

liz

That’ll be your advert.

steve

So, Minty, what about you young man?

simon

Weirdly can anyone hear a little noise going do, do, do, do? No. It’s my hearing aid. I’ve got this new hearing aid.

steve

I thought it was Countdown, you were talking about Countdown.

simon

And it’s just running out, this is the first battery. So I’m going to change the battery soon. Welcome everybody.

steve

Are they rechargeable?

simon

No, no, no they’re tiny little ((0:35:32.7?))

liz

Let’s have a look.

shannon

Oh that’s very neat.

simon

No it’s not it’s huge at the back but I’m trying it out, I’m giving it a try.

steve

That’s because you’ve got your tiny ears.

simon

I’m a bit self-conscious. Okay. It’s a perfect segway into this story but it’s not quite what I was planning.

steve

So they’re throwaway batteries are they, did you say?

simon

I dispose of them. It keeps beeping me now it’s kind of going do, do, do, do.

shannon

Is it disconcerting?

liz

Is that not your Apple watch?

steve

Or your vapour stick?

simon

((0:36:01.2?))

liz

Or your beeper.

steve

Your cigarettes.

shannon

Is it your pager?

steve

A heart monitor? Are you okay, Si?

shannon

Is it a defibrillator?

simon

This is my favourite show, I’ll just sit here and get little gags thrown at me. I don’t know if I want to say my story anymore.

steve

Okay, so that’s one.

simon

You know why? It’s going to be another serious…

shannon

Oh that’s a bit heavy.

simon

Shannon Murray reading it I don’t want you stealing my story about disability. We’re all quite serious this month aren’t we? So mine is NHS, National Health Service, to begin denying people hearing aids for the first time. Did you all read this story?

steve

I heard that on 5Live.

liz

I’m aware of it.

steve

And I was amazed.

simon

This is about older people. And they were saying that ((0:36:41.5?)) levels so you can get sort of mild hearing loss, moderate…

steve

Just going back a sec – was there age so after you’re over a certain age or is it just the fact they think you’re…

simon

It’s ((0:36:51.7?)) Staffordshire by the looking at it and they’re just trying it out mainly for elderly people in its area with mild hearing loss.

shannon

Hasn’t Staffordshire Health Trust got enough problems?

simon

Good point.

steve

But also on the radio they actually played what the difference is between hearing loss, mild hearing loss and severe hearing loss and it was actually interesting…

simon

I didn’t hear that.

liz

It’s because you’ve only got one.

steve

But it was actually interesting to hear the difference.

simon

Could you?

steve

But then if you had mild hearing loss and you listened to the radio, then the severe hearing loss you wouldn’t hear it at all. 

simon

This is going to be an ever decreasing circle.

steve

And the normal one would be mild.

shannon

Maybe they should have told people to turn the volume up first.

simon

((0:37:30.7?)) were texting in going, “Hang on you only did two” that’ll be the same.

steve

That’s a great gag. Poor her.

simon

I’m thinking we will probably get some contact from listeners now.

steve

Yeah. Maybe from a sponsor.

simon

So here’s my point and bearing in mind I had just got one and it is helping load. I mean it’s quite hard work…

liz

Did you only get one by coincidence?

simon

No. They said…

liz

Did they only give you one?

simon

Alright, this is really driving me nuts this hearing thing, I keep getting these beeps. No they just said one for now to keep you going…

steve

That’s our producers.

simon

I’ve forgotten it, what was the question? No they just said one.

liz

I’m just thinking because they’ve been cut down.

shannon

If the hearing loss is only bad in one ear?

simon

No it’s the same. I thought I was going in for two and then she just gave me one and I said, “Is there going to be another one?” And she said, “No.” And do you know what in all honesty it’s sufficient.

steve

And they’re cutting back in Camden.

liz

That’s why ((0:38:16.8?))

shannon

Is that why you’re getting cutbacks you’re allowed one.

steve

Have you only got one ear, you’ve only got one.

liz

So whatever they’re being told everywhere.

simon

Well it seems like you know all the answers ((0:38:23.5?)). So it worried me and, as I’ve said, it’s kind of impacted on me immediately and the joy of having a hearing aid when you haven’t before makes a big, big difference. The bit that I wanted and this was the bit that was missing and this is me being a little bit Tory where I kind of go if they’d done some research because my suspicions I know older people who have had them, they wear them three days, they’re a nightmare they can’t get on with them, they put them in the drawer. And it’s a bit like I wished they’d kind of said can we go and sweep and collect up all the ones that people aren’t using because I suspect there’s a hell of a lot of money. And I get a feeling, and I’m stereotyping and taking a judgement, but I suspect using this for the first time if you’re an older person you’ll hate it. And I’m so I’m worried that they’re giving them out and nobody’s using them. So I just wondered whether there was a way that they could get all of those back before they start cutting back.

steve

That’s quite an assumption that.

simon

Of course it is but it’s based on two people I know who are older. Is that enough?

steve

They might just forget where they are and just…

simon

This is 82% I’ve got a t-shirt.

liz

Isn’t that the same, basically that’s just the same the sort of the story that most disabled people have a cupboard of bits of equipment that they don’t really use. And isn’t it about sometimes that we’re not involved in the decisions about what type… It might just be that you don’t want it but it’s also the things that you get don’t quite fit what you need.

simon

Well that is one of the problems. If you go privately for a hearing aid it is a lifetime support, you can go back and get it tweaked whenever you want, they’ll change it.

liz

It maybe looks better. You know ((0:39:52.7?)) image.

simon

That too but the NHS one you’re kind of allowed one appointment back to get it tweaked and then you’re out on your own, and that is hard because it is a bit of an art form and you’ve got to get it working for you.

steve

My feeling is then you have the follow-up with the doctors.

simon

Absolutely.

steve

Keep trying it.

simon

Absolutely.

steve

I doubt very much that there’s loads of people just saying I’ll try a few I think that might be something the Tories are saying that…

simon

No, no, no nobody said that. That’s me…

shannon

That was just Simon being a Tory.

simon

Those two people I straw polled before the show. I just wish there was a bit of research.

steve

But I’m also amazed that they’re kind of maybe pulling out that care because you just think that hearing loss, at any age, is…

simon

Banging on there’s still the fundamental point I don’t like what’s happening and even if people didn’t use them I still think they should have the option to try them. I suppose what I’m kind of saying is if they just went to all the people they’ve given and if said, “If you don’t use it anymore or you’re not going to use it can we have it back and use it again.”

steve

But that’s fair enough. I don’t think they’re coming from that way.

simon

There’s nothing wrong with having someone else’s ear wax in your ear. I mean that sounds gross.

shannon

But maybe there should be like a healthcare amnesty the way they do for like guns and knives that you bring back all the equipment you’ve been given that you don’t need.

simon

You know what?

liz

And you do it on December 3rd International Day of Disabled People.

shannon

Exactly. So there’s like crutches, wheelchairs, limbs, everyone’s…

simon

Heather Mills said that. Heather Mills did it with prosthetic limbs didn’t she a few years ago?

liz

I don’t know.

shannon

How many has she got?

simon

Oh she got thousands.

shannon

She got other people to bring them in?

simon

Oh yeah not just her own prosthetic limbs.

liz

I thought you meant she had thousands.

simon

Oh she’s got plenty. She collected them and then took them to another country.

shannon

Well you see I tried, I had a bunch of wheelchairs that I was trying to offload and nobody would take them because they said that they’re made to measure for my build so they couldn’t give them to somebody else. But I thought well surely something is better than nothing if you’re like really stuck.

simon

Yes also there will be people who have a similar build to you.

shannon

Exactly. And they were big, expensive chairs but couldn’t give them to anybody.

simon

Okay I’m going to be an agent and I’m going to start up a trade of disability equipment.

liz

It’s like Swap Shop.

simon

That’s it.

shannon

Exactly.

simon

Disability Swap Shop.

steve

Have you got anymore because we’ve got to speak to Robin soon?

simon

I’m done.

steve

Okay. Thank you very much everybody.

[Jingle: Contact us by telephone or text on 07756 190 561]

Next up we’ve got technology news from Robin Christopherson from AbilityNet. Hello, Robin, it’s nice to hear from you again, we haven’t spoken to you for a few months. How are you?

robin

Really well, thank you.

steve

Good, good. So we’re going to ask you for your first bit of news.

robin

Well I’ve got two stories. I’ve got the ((Ad-blocalypse – sp?)) and I’ve got ‘Back to the Future’ so which would you like?

steve

Let’s go for both, they both sounded quite strange and lovely. What’s the ad, say that again your first one is Ad-blocalypse.

robin

That’s right. So it’s like apocalypse, like the end of the world.

steve

Oh.

robin

Which a lot of publishers of websites that heavily rely on ads are calling it. Because basically we all know how frustrating ads are, they can flash, they can intrude into what you’re trying to read. If you do a google search for a particular product or something then ads for those products follow you around the internet because Google serves up ads on many other websites as well. And even in a Facebook feed, for example, a lot of videos auto play these days. And it can be really difficult for people with dyslexia or a learning difficulty or a vision impairment to navigate their way around web pages with all these intrusive ads.

And the reason why this is in the news at the moment is Apple in IOS 9 has made it possible to block ads on the internet if you’re surfing, you know, on your phone, for example. Android’s been able to do this for a while as have desktop browsers, but obviously because it’s Apple it’s made the news and that’s significant because that means a lot more people are aware of it. So if you want to be one of those people that have a much simpler, cleaner surfing experience either on your desktop computer or on your phone, whichever phone you favour, then you can install, the most popular one is called Ghostery, which is ghostery.com. If you go to ghostery.com then you can install that on your iPhone, your Android phone or whatever desktop browser you use; and what you’ll find is no ads on Google or any other website, no tracking cookies which follow you around the internet and try to serve you up information that they think you want and much faster page loading times. So there’s a website that I really like called imore.com and the average loading time of that webpage was about 30 seconds and now it’s down to 1.3 seconds without the ads.

steve

Is it just an app you download and it just kind of works for you as soon as you go on your browser?

robin

Yes. So it you go to ghostery.com you can see a list of the different browsers or mobile phones and pick the one you want. With the case of the desktop browsers it’s called a plugin and you just install it and it sits in your browser, you don’t even know it’s there and it just does its thing. On Android it’s very similar. On IOS you get it from the app store and you have to go into settings and turn on ad blocking, or enable ad blocking, which is under privacy in your i device. And then when you get one of these Ghostery is the name of the app. There are other ones like Purify and Crystal both have four and a half stars, very popular. And it will vastly speed up your browsing and simplify the experience.

simon

That sounds pretty awesome. I did read about it too and there’s that sort of what’s going to change in terms of ad revenues and stuff but in terms of accessibility that sounds so much better. Robin, what was the second one?

robin

Back to the Future.

steve

Sound effects as well.

robin

In 1989 the second ‘Back to the Future’ film had them going forward in time to 2015 actually the 21st October 2015 which is topical.

steve

Wow we’re nearly there.

robin

And I thought it would be interesting to compare the technology that they had in the film with what we’ve actually got today. And there’s a huge amount that they got right. So flat screens are all over the place in the film and obviously without flat screens today we wouldn’t have smartphones nor the fantastic benefits that that has for everyone, and disabled people no less than everyone else, in fact probably more so. Video calling is in the film and that’s obviously very common these days, and for people with a hearing impairment that’s really useful to sign to each other. For people who, like myself, who can’t see to be able to just whip out your phone and use the video calling and to ask for help when you’re on your own without another pair of eyes. Finger print sensors were used to unlock the house in the film, and obviously that’s very common these days. My children both thumb into their school on a morning and we use them on our iPhones and other devices all the time. And that’s really helpful because remembering long passwords, typing in long passwords successfully is very difficult for many people with a disability. So to be able to just use some sort of biometric sensor to unlock your devices is incredibly interesting, or very useful.

Artificial intelligence they talked to machines and the machines talked back in the film and we obviously have that all the time these days with Siri etc. And that’s really, really useful for people with a range of disabilities as well as everybody else. And then there are some other more outlandish ones like flying cars and hover boards is probably the most well-known technology and both of those actually exist today as well; maybe not quite in the same form, slightly more limited with the hover board, for example, you can only do it over a metallic surface and the batteries only last seven minutes before you crash to the ground. But we’re definitely getting there with those as well. So we live in exciting times.

steve

That’s very good. Very quickly was there anything that was outlandishly wrong, that they got completely wrong?

robin

They got things that we haven’t got to yet. So that big jaws hologram that comes out for Jaws 19 I think it was that nearly ate Marty McFly. We have those with Microsoft Hololens, for example, but you obviously have to wear the goofy goggles still at this time. But if people want to see that sort of holographic virtual reality there’s a really good app on Android ((0:48:47.8?)) IOS called Zookazan.

simon

So the only bit that they haven’t quite got as well is the - what’s it called – time travel. How far away are we from that, Robin?

robin

We’re brilliant at going forward in time.

steve

We’re speaking to you yesterday, next week – what’s the joke, something like that. Well that’s fantastic. Thank you very much, Robin.

robin

We all had to get to 2015 the long way round. Great.

steve

That’s great. It was lovely to hear from you I know the connection’s not brilliant at the moment but thank you for phoning in.

robin

Thanks guys.

simon

Cheers Robin.

shannon

Bye Robin.

liz

Bye.

robin

Bye.

[Jingle: Find us on Twitter or Facebook by searching for Abnormally Funny People or using the hashtag AFPshow.]

simon

So a final word with our guests. Liz, what are you up to over the next few months?

liz

Where are we it’s October it’s kind of still writing Assisted Suicide the musical. It’s not enough to have defeated the bill.

simon

But it’s got a happy ending now though has it?

liz

Do you know what? It has. No it’s kind of… it’s got all sorts in there, Simon, apparently. A bit of good stuff, a bit of bad news.

simon

Is that some feedback?

liz

Yeah. But yeah so I’m looking forward to that. It will be out next summer and it will be at something called The Unlimited Festival which will be at the South Bank in September 2016.

simon

And then the international tour presumably?

liz

After that absolutely yeah, with a cast of thousands.

simon

When’s the next ‘Silent Witness’ coming out?

liz

‘Silent Witness’ will be on in January. And I’m on in the credits. I finally made it into the credits.

steve

Were you not in the credits before?

liz

I was in the credits at the end. I’m in the credits at the front.

steve

Oh nice.

shannon

Didn’t you have your own solo credit?

liz

That’s because we got into… That’s because it was like… So I wasn’t in the front with the three main people so I was just in the back with everyone else. And then I sort of made a fuss.

shannon

Excellent.

liz

And they didn’t want to put me in the front so they said it’s okay we’ll amend the end. So I had this ‘with Liz Carr’ and then everybody else. But people thought I’d died or something.

shannon

It was a posthumous credit.

simon

If you imagine like a Word document and then there’s all the names and they’re in 12 size or whatever and Liz’s is like 18, it’s like, “What’s that?”

liz

It was like a special needs wasn’t it? We’ve made it accessible. But then other people… I remember there was an article about the show and whatever it was like she’s a real diva because she’s fought for this like ((0:51:23.5?)), why should she get top bill. It was really interesting. Some people interpreted that I got top billing and all it had been is we’d been saying how about we are at the front. And somebody even wrote into ‘Radio Times’ and said, “Why is this person not at the front?”

steve

When you say somebody?

liz

I mean mum, you know, she’s a woman of letters. But yes it’s going to be…

shannon

If you’re big font then you can still be seen when they shrink it.

simon

That’s very exciting.

liz

I’m quite excited because when we used to watch it they’d be the three main and then there’s like me. And so we’d see the three names and then we’d go, “And Liz Carr.” So now I don’t have to do that.

shannon

A voice over.

liz

Yeah.

steve

That’s very good. Liz, thank you very much, Liz. And Shannon what are your plans?

shannon

My plan is to enjoy a little bit more of London for the next couple of weeks then fly back to LA and start all over again hopefully with a healthy leg rather than a broken leg and avoid all future accidents. And I’m writing one or two things that I need to crack on with and we’ll see what happens with those.

simon

Very exciting. I’m going to come and visit you in LA. I keep threatening to do that.

shannon

I want you to. Come and see me.

simon

Yeah I think it will be great.

shannon

My pad is fully accessible.

simon

Thank you very much.

shannon

It’s like totally accessible.

simon

And with the accent as well you have to say that. Okay.

shannon

Apparently I’ve started talking differently. People are saying I’m going up at the end so my intonation has changed.

steve

That’s Australian isn’t it?

shannon

I don’t believe it. I’m not doing that.

steve

Oh.

shannon

Not doing that.

steve

They go up at the end don’t they?

simon

Yes they do. What are you up to over the next few months Steve?

shannon

Are you going to Australia, was that a segway?

steve

No, no I’m not doing it I’m too ((0:52:52.8?)) and all that. What about you, yeah very good. Thank you very much Liz and Shannon.

simon

He can’t say now.

steve

It’s lovely to have you on the show.

shannon

Lovely to be here.

liz

Thank you.

steve

Our penultimate maybe who knows.

shannon

Oh you’ve got out the begging cup again.

steve

Yeah.

shannon

Alright. Give the disabled some cash.

liz

Please.

shannon

Please.

simon

Can you stop talking you two now please?

shannon

We’re disabled, we scrounge, it’s what we do.

liz

Can’t stop.

shannon

Yeah. ((whispers)) Can’t help ourselves.

simon

The longest show we’ve done for months I think.

liz

Yeah “We’re going to cut it down and do half an hour” they said. “It’ll be the shortish show, it’ll be fine you’ll be out by five.”

shannon

You’ll be in and out, it’ll be fine.

steve

Joe’s still recording. That’ll be…

liz

You finish it.

steve

Goodnight everybody.

liz and shannon

Bye.

[Jingle: If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve heard please leave us a review of a rating on AudioBoom and iTunes.]

steve

Thank you all of you who stay in touch. We love hearing from you, it makes our day doesn’t it?

simon

It does, we are overjoyed. You can find out how to contact us – was that too sarcastic?

liz

It didn’t sound it. I know you thought we’d gone but we’ve come back.

simon

They still haven’t gone have they?

shannon

No we’re still here. It’s going to cost you but we’re still here.

steve

Keep going, keep going.

simon

So you can find out how to contact us…

liz

How do you do it?

simon

…via – thanks Liz – via our website…

shannon

You ding, that was somebody emailing you.

liz

Was that your hearing aid?

simon

My watch is beeping. Abnormally Funny…

liz

What’s it telling you to do? Is it telling you to walk?

simon

It’s telling me to never book Liz and Shannon again.

shannon

Is it telling you you’re going to combust?

simon

If only that assisted suicide law had gone the other way.

steve

Wouldn’t be so chirpy. Website, website Simon.

simon

Yeah. Do contact us if you really can be bothered now. Abnormallyfunnypeople.com.

steve

And you’ll find the transcript of the show as well as all the old shows on the website too, and lots of photos that I take.

liz

Yeah. And can I just say the transcript’s great because if you can’t be bothered listening to the whole hour and a half of the podcast…

shannon

You can read it ten minutes.

liz

…you can just like read it and flick through the good bits where we’re talking.

shannon

Yeah.

liz

And then the other stuff when it’s you doing your business and you’re begging.

shannon

Exactly.

simon

I quite like the fact that you use the transcript. I thought that was quite cool.

steve

And saying that about the begging, Simon.

simon

I love the way you’re producing this, Steve, it’s quite tough.

simon

One more push and a little plug to see if, as we said, we do need some help so if anybody’s out there who would like to get involved regarding sponsorship for the show do get in touch.

steve

Yes indeed. And I’m sure we’ll still carry on with the podcast but it might not be with such good equipment and facilities, and of course people around us like our producer Mr Joe, not Mr Joe, it’s just Joe. Joe, I don’t know his surname but thank you very much Joe.

liz

Mr Joe Joe.

shannon

Thanks Joe.

simon

That’s all for listening.

[Playing music]

                                                           

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